We’re coming down the home stretch on 24. The bizarre messege is so crystal clear to me at this point, the only real question I still don’t have an answer for is Why do I still watch this damn show? It’s like slowing down to get a good look at a car wreck, I suppose. A bucha howlin’ injens doesn’t need to be the biggest reason to watch a John Wayne flick either, right? Or does it? You gotta admit that it’s the flair that the other stuff just doesn’t have. I could easily get my terrorist-casualty quota met by the likes of McQuade, McLane or even McQeen, but nobody does me like Bauer do me. He does that thing I like.
It’s true that Jack acts out our revenge fantasies so that we don’t have to. If you were in a room with Bin Laden with the door locked and windows drawn, what wouldn’t you do? You’d probably melt like snowflake on the Tucson asphalt, that’s what you WOULD do. But let’s pretend, just for the moment, you had some balls. THEN, what would you do? Pretend you could dig deep down into the Reptilian recesses of your peanut brain and act on your instinct. You’ve got a screwdriver. You could pluck his fingernails out, one by one. You could pop his eye ball out, that might be fun. Or, with a hammer, you could break each bone in his body, starting with his toes.
Maybe you’ll get only so far in this Himmler-esque Gedanken experiment before you feel compelled to stop. Maybe that’s why they are canceling 24. It’s just no fun anymore.
I never thought the torture was fun, which is the first reason to wonder why I ever thought the show was any fun at all. From a filmmaker’s standpoint, I love the concept of a real-time drama, and I love the editing. The amount of work that goes into each episode, particularly in post-production when they have to organize all the canisters and log each clip and figure out just when and where to put each clip on the screen – it’s pretty damn impressive. There are often really good performances as well, usually from the minor cast. President Logan was really fun to watch, though not nearly as great as President Palmer in the first two seasons. And of course Chloe. Ahh, Chloe.
In the beginning, the show spent a good deal of time on each big decision or event. The successful detonation of a nuclear bomb over the skies of Nevada in season two was one of the best. There weren’t very many casualties, but that wasn’t the point. Then, the show didn’t need to rack up deaths to get us to think about serious matters. The event was critical to the resolution of another subplot, too: Jack’s suicidal tendencies after the death of his wife. Everything gelled then in a way that they don’t anymore. Contrast this with the season six premiere: The terrorists successfully detonate a nuke over California. This was the beginning of the end for 24, in my opinion. Why bother watching the rest? The worst has happened, so what is left? Well, I guess that is why the last season is about international conflict.
With begrudging masochism, I trudged through the season, and now, before it has even reached its close, I can no longer shake this frustration. In AA, they say the hardest part is admitting you have a problem. I have a problem: I hate this fucking show and I can't stop watching it.
Let me step back for a second, though, and deliver vital info unto the privileged masses who have been spared from the nuclear fallout of 24: Season 8. The neocon leanings of the show’s political philosophy need no analysis here, it’s pretty blatant. What’s not so obvious (though is becoming increasingly obvious) is the ultra-sexist patriarchal values. Women ruin EVERYTHING on this damn show!
For those who haven’t seen the show/season, here’s a recap (including many season 8 spoilers): The president, Allison Taylor, wants to finish a middle-eastern peace agreement, but an assassination plot of the President of the fictional Islamist Republic of Kamistan (which might as well be Iran) by oppositional forces in his own government has canceled the talks. Jack’s crazy girlfriend, Renee Walker, is brought in because of an undercover op she did years ago with the Russians. The terrorists successfully kidnap IRK president Hassan, and before Jack n’ Gang catches up with the terrorists, he is slain in an online broadcast. Now, it turns out the Russians were behind the whole plot because they want to sabotage the peace agreement. Oh, and in keeping with tradition, this season had a mole who was working for the Russians, too.
I never knew quite what to make of the show’s decision to have a woman as the president. Maybe they are prognosticating that Hillary will be president a few terms from now. After all, the first president on the show was black, and he was well-liked. Of course, that would mean a nuke going off on American soil, and several assassination attempts (and an ultimately successful one).
But it’s an odd choice because, even in 24 world, she’s a neolib. She’s motivated by a naïve platitude of international peace through talking. Maybe that is why recently she has become the real villain on the show. She would rather allow a dirty bomb to go off in the heart of Manhattan killing millions than give up Hassan to the terrorists and kill her precious peace negotiations. That’s pretty fucked up, but the show didn’t really see that as wrong, at first. BUT THEN, enter the revelation of the Russian plot and something changes. They have the season’s mole in custody and she’s willing to give up the names of high-ranking Russian government officials in exchange for immunity, and Jack wants those names pretty damn bad because they just had his girlfriend killed. Taylor decides, instead, to leave it alone and go along with the peace treaty as if there really was no Russian plot to assassinate IRK’s president made to look like an in-house job. She tells Jack, in person, that she will not have the peace process jeopardized and has him escorted to an Air Force base.
The show is pretty clear about one thing: you can tell other countries what to do, you can tell terrorists what to do, but nobody tells Jack what to do. In the past, those who listen to Jack unconditionally, like Chloe, are regarded as the good guys, even if he’s wrong. They are loyal. Jack has been nothing but loyal to President Taylor, and not will he not be given a chance to pursue his girlfriend’s murderer, he must be silent. At this point you have to wonder, Where is the big picture? Just how much can feasibly be sacrificed for this peace process before it’s no longer worth it? Jack knows. Oh believe me, Jack knows. He’s gone off the deep end, he’s been hooked on heroin, but he knows. If he doesn’t, then at least he thinks he does and he won’t abandon his principles. What a respectable guy. **tear**
Let’s cut the crap, though, seriously. Let’s just say it: she’s a bitch that needs to be put in her place. Into her place, you may also place any other woman on the show that doesn’t blindly listen to good men. Let’s go down the list…
The season’s mole, Dana Walsh, is a pretty blonde who spent the first season trying to evade a stalker ex-boyfriend. When she is revealed to be the mole, you might think “Aha! A strong female character!” But then when Jack literally smacks her around, she gives in. Why does he have to smack her? She would have said what she said anyway, that she would give up info in exchange for an immunity deal. That’s how it ALWAYS works with a hired hand. Jack knows this. You might say he’s getting payback for Renee’s death, but Dana didn’t kill Renee and probably doesn’t even know who did, or why. Here it’s not even torture, it’s just abuse. I don’t suppose there’s a difference, but at least there’s usually a reason for torture.
And Hassan’s family is a buncha bitches, let me tell you. I suppose Hassan’s biggest crime was not smacking his wife and daughter around more. But then, Hassan was the only thing holding the peace process together. His daughter’s main role on the show is to cry a lot. I think that’s in the script notes or something: “Meanwhile, Kayla Hassan cries. End scene.” Emmy gold. The damaged wife must accept her husband’s infidelity, too. Of course, by the end, when he gets killed, she cries too. She also takes her place as political puppet for America, like the good girl she hopes to be. After all, she only seems to wear her shawl like it’s just some trendy thing middle-eastern women do, so we know she doesn’t care TOO much about her faith. The season’s not over, though, and I suspect she will learn about the Russian plot, step down from the peace process, and all hell will break loose. Like Taylor, all of her brownie points will be lost.
So many women trying to DO shit. Why can’t they all be like Kim? At the beginning of the season, Kim said “it’s ok, dad, you go do what you have to do, and be careful. I love you.” She’s got a family now, and she’s incredibly supportive of her father now. She’s a good girl. She might still become terrorist-bait, but regardless, she’ll be the only thing Jack has at the end of the season. The good, baby-making wife.
The only really independent female left on the show seems to be Chloe, but even she seems to be a pushover for Jack. That is why pitting Jack against Chloe in these final episodes will be interesting (yes, I’m in this to the end). I doubt she will pursue him for very long before she tells the upper-ups to fuck off. The DHS guy that appointed her, the slime-bucket that wanted to save his job, will get his end.
The meaning of life for women on the show seems to be: Listen to all of the men that are on this list: Jack Bauer.
If you are asking, Why do you insist this is a sexist thing? Isn’t that true of the men too? Not really. Tony, for example, has butted heads with him before. And so did president Palmer. Men are held to a different standard than women. Because men are (allegedly) always guided by some set of core principles, even if those are disreputable, you must respect them. The men who wanted to oust Hassan, or the Russians who want out of the peace process, or even Hassan himself, who, as it turned out, didn’t trust the Americans either and compiled illegally acquired intel on US operations.
When women want to speak, however, they are always seen as whimsical, flighty and naïve. Their only recourse is to obey their masters, and Jack Bauer is the master of this universe. Even when the writers had a golden opportunity in season 6 to make Jack completely batshit insane, Jack would have still been empathetic because of everything that pushed him to his insanity (he did spent 18 months in a Chinese labor camp, after all). At every turn, Taylor asked Jack what to do and she listened every time, and he was right every time. Now she’s going and making her own decisions all of the sudden.
One of the best female characters on the show was Michelle, back in the first few seasons. She did what she had to do regardless of what anyone said, including Tony. For that matter, the infamous Nina Meyers would count, too. She became a villain, but she was one that you could do business with like any other. Any 24 fan who’s been with it since the beginning knows there has never been a better villain than her.
Why can’t we have that again? What are the writers doing to me? I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this. I’ve overlooked the 2D racism, the subtle sexism, the inhumane torture and even the jingoistic Realpolitik, but God save me from bad writing!
President Taylor was a good guy, even when she was willing to sacrifice half of Manhattan to her peace process, so long as the men approved. Jack knew what was at stake, and he supported her. Now that his girlfriend is dead, and the Russians seem to be involved, those stakes are gone. So what is the message? Killing American citizens is ok to justify peace with the Arabs, but killing Jack Bauer’s girlfriend is justification enough to resurrect the Cold War.
I hate this show.
ADDENDUM: 24's backwards moral philosophy is not only vindicated by the series finale, it is glorified. The neoliberal president tries to atone for not listening to Jack by stepping down from the peace treaty at the last minute and resigning for her crimes of high treason. And all the members of the Russian conspiracy are killed because they didn't listen to Jack when he said, "Die." That's right: he didn't torture them for information or evidence, because he already had the evidence. He just straight up killed people for revenge. And not quickly either. One of them took a while, the one they found with a hole carved out of his chest.
One funny thing I will point out, though, is how Chloe ended up voicing exactly what I said. Just before Jack is about to assassinate the Russian president, who is also involved in the conspiracy, Chloe reminds Jack that killing the Russian president will provoke a war, and that Rene wouldn't have wanted that. He does not kill the president, so I guess she's the only woman who truly escapes the "shoulda listened to Jack" law (of course, if we're expected to believe that Jack knows what he's doing, which we are because of the proficiency of his killing spree, how did he not think of the ramifications of killing the president of a global superpower?)
However, we never see Jack atone for what he's done. In fact, Jack sets up a webcam to say how proud he is. That's right, a little video that he made on his iPhone. He doesn't say that he should be judge and jury (although he actually says that elsewhere in the episode, while pointing a gun at someone's head), and he doesn't say "kids, don't try this at home." I think that's what I loathe the most about the show, it's what's not said. It's the implied good things. Our country is a great country, and although the show implies that it's good when Jack murders people in cold blood (since we get to watch the bad guys squirm 'cuz they know Bauer's gonna get 'em), it implies that our country is great, too! So, our justice system shows we're a great country, but it's also great when certain people **who share our political sympathies** take the law into their own hands. Well, it's a good thing I'm one of the good guys! I'm gonna go kill me an IRS agent.
