In honor of Halloween, I thought I'd take a break from my series of world horror cinema and look at the filmmaker best known for the slasher that everyone's watching tonight.
Halloween is actually unique among Carpenter horror films in many respects, including the fact that it's technically not a sci-fi film. Science fiction is actually the genre in which he feels most comfortable, and I highly recommend you check out his other non-horror sci-fi films as well. Dark Star is really nutty and bizarre (and even inspired many great films of the seventies, including Jaws and Star Wars). Starman is also not just one of Carpenter's best films, but possibly one of the best science fiction films ever made. And that's saying a lot for a romcom!
But it's safe to say that all of Carpenter's films are science fiction, because they are all assumed to take place in reality. Even if it's about the end of days, and it's a biblical apocalypse film like Prince of Darkness, there is always the unspoken assumption in Carpenter's movies that these things are scary not because they defy logic and reason, but because they are totally possible! That's why he does it.
You can tell that he loves explaining at length how something is plausible in the known universe we live in, so that it's all the scarier. There are a few exceptions (like Christine), but this is probably what defines the horror of John Carpenter. That, and it's usually pretty physical, with lots of blood and body parts (in this way, Halloween is also unique, because there's really not that much blood or violence in it at all).
I will say no more. Here's all of them, ranked as I enjoyed them.
11. Village of the Damned (1996)
Subgenres: Sci-fi, Alien
Availability: filenuke (has popup ads)
At least in terms of horror, this was, in my opinion, Carpenter’s first major failure. And it’s not kinda sorta bad. It’s train-wreck-in-the-Alps bad. I have no clue what he was trying to accomplish with this film. Was it a comment on the lack of empathy in the mid-nineties youth culture? Was it an homage to classic ’50’s sci-fi classics? Or was it merely something that paid the bills for a once-beloved filmmaker now falling out of favor? I’m betting on the latter. And I can forgive him for it.
The script has milk-toast dialogue, muddled and unconvincing philosophical digressions, contrived scenarios, and a totally unnecessary government subplot. The acting is passable for some characters, but is, for the most part, excrutiatingly bad. As in, I’d prefer water-boarding. And not bad in a fun way, either. It even has a preacher asking, “What about those who have no soul?” Give me a break. No preacher talks like that. Just a bad movie all around, I’m sorry to say.
10. Ghosts of Mars (2001)
Subgenres: Sci-fi, Action, Paranormal
This movie is all style and no substance. I like the idea of ghosts that take self-mutilation to extremes when possessing bodies, and the alien-invasion-in-reverse premise is a neat idea. The only problem is that it's just not scary at all, and the acting is pretty terrible all around. There isn't even a James Woods or a Jeff Bridges in sight to make it watchable.
Whenever anything happens, I just think, "Ok, that happened." I would make suggestions on how the script could have been rewritten, but I have no idea what the film was trying to be in the first place (prison break, traditional ghost, mere spectacle, etc...who knows?!) But this line should tell you all the need to know (from the film's supposed heroine): "What if we blow up the nuclear power plant? That would cause a huge explosion, right?"
End scene.
9. The Fog (1980)
Genres: Ghost, Zombie
Availability: ffilms.org
Carpenter’s second horror film basically has the same structure as Halloween, and it showcases a lot of the style that he is now known for. The fog that brings the ghosts of murderers back into a quiet harbor town is very cool to watch.
But I agree with Ebert on this movie: it needs a better villain. It looks amazing, and the atmosphere created is very spooky, even if the music feels derivative. But I have no idea why the town is really being terrorized, or who is in danger. Is it the whole town, or just the descendents of those who murdered the victims who would go on haunting the town?
It also doesn’t give the characters a whole lot to do. Jamie Lee Curtis plays a vagabond bound for Vancouver, but she does absolutely nothing. Even the radio DJ, whose location is in one hell of a cool place, doesn’t seem to have much to add other than shouting into a microphone. Her character could have been way more useful and interesting, not to mention the town’s inhabitants, whose reaction to the films events is largely absent.
There’s no lesson learned, and there’s no “aha!” moment, where the town comes to grips with its newfound historical perspective. Again, this film looks amazing, but the story is lacking. Not Carpenter’s best work, but worth a look if you plan to use a smoke machine in your movie.
8. Christine (1983)
Genres: Supernatural, Ghost, Comedy
Availability: Putlocker (free, but you have to close some popups)
I believe we all owe John Carpenter an apology for hating on this movie when it came out, and for the legacy of hating this movie, and for throwing parties with popcorn and punch so that we can all hate this movie together. Poor Christine is just misunderstood, because I now believe, after rewatching it oh so many years later, that this is a comedy.
The premise is ludicrous, but Carpenter jumped at the chance to tell this story because, well, it paid the bills. After The Thing underperformed, this film was the best thing he could find. But the B-movie premise is actually perfectly suited for someone like him, who does his best work on a small scale. This film would have been the perfect opportunity for Carpenter to completely go the Michael Bay route for filmmaking. I mean, for a film about a haunted, homicidal hot rod, you’d expect there to be more car chases!
But there’s a lot to appreciate about the film. The biggest thing for me is how completely foreign some of the archetypes are nowadays. The bad guys are the greasers, while the moral center of the film is a well-mannered and loyal football player. The wimpy kid that everyone picks on actually turns out to be the anti-hero, and his descent into evil is fun. It’s also total understandable. It’s not a perfect film, but if you watch it like a comedy, some of the more silly killer-car stuff is a real treat. And the film even ends on a joke.
7. In the Mouth of Madness (1995)
Subgenres: Apocalypse, Cosmic
Availability: Putlocker
I have mixed feelings about this film. On the one hand, the premise of an insurance fraud investigator being hired to find a horror writer whose work seems to be turning its readers into paranoid schizoids is quite intriguing. If the film suffers because of this premise, it’s a lack of timing. He’s making a Cold War-era horror film in the middle of the first post-Cold War decade. The image of an empty Everytown USA, with its creepy kids, menacing steeples, and implied moral panic would have done better at the box office, had it been made ten years earlier.
But my problem with the film is not the context, but what Carpenter fails to do with such a great idea. The sinister soundtrack of his earlier films is replaced with inappropriate pop rock songs, and other atmospheric elements found his classic films are also absent. This film just doesn’t feel like a Carpenter flick. It’s not really that scary, and the second half is unnecessarily confusing, with an ending that makes no sense at all.
On the other hand, I do love me some Lovecraft. And this is one of the few films that sticks to the spirit of cosmic horror the way Lovecraft intended it. And there are grotesque ghouls and monsters aplenty in this flick. In that sense, at least, there’s enough classic Carpenter in this film to make it enjoyable.
6. Vampires (1998)
Subgenres: Supernatural, Action
Availability: Youtube
Carpenter’s take on vampires actually makes this now-tired creature scary once again. Prior to seeing this film, I can’t tell you how many times I had this exact thought: “If vampires have superhuman strength, how come none of them ever punch through someone’s chest? They could, couldn’t they?” And imagine my excitement when, twenty minutes into Vampires, this actually happens.
Aside from some unevenly written dialogue in the beginning, the story is very suspenseful, with fleshed out characters and realistic scares throughout. The peculiarities of the ritual involved in the climax seems a tad bit too clean, but by that point I didn’t care. I’d seen enough that I could forgive the film a few plot devices. Like the protagonist, I am also tired of seeing well-groomed and sentimental vampires, because that’s not scary. I want the ones that are pure evil, rip old ladies throats out, and don’t go down easy. I also love that this is basically a western, but with vampires. This time, Carpenter’s atypical music choice, the steel guitar, works perfectly.
5. Body Bags (1992)
Subgenres: Anthology, Comedy, Camp
Availability: Youtube
This movie is like Carpenter’s career interlude, where he takes a break from scaring the hell out of people to embellish the fun he and other horror greats have had scaring the hell out of people. It was intended to be the pilot for a TV show that Showtime paid for, but never ordered a whole series of. It’s an anthology show in the vein of Tales from the Crypt, and it’s a lot of fun.
The first story is the only real weakness of the film for me. It’s so painfully contrived, and if it had a bit more comedic timing and camp like the rest of the film, those contrivances might have worked in its favor. The second story seems like something out of a different movie entirely, until the disturbing reveal at the end. And the final installment, directed by Tobe Hooper (Poltergeist, Texas Chainsaw Massacre) was also enjoyable in the familiar, axe-murderer, drive-in-movie sort of way.
But despite the weaknesses, it’s worth it to see the many cameos. You know that Carpenter is not only a brilliant horror filmmaker, but also a highly respected one as well. He would have to be to get Sam Raimi, Wes Craven, Roger Corman and Tobe Hooper all in this movie! It’s like the who’s who of modern horror. And Carpenter himself narrates in a performance that was probably inspired by Beetlejuice, and with some snappy dialogue.
4. They Live (1988)
Subgenres: Sci-fi, Alien, Social Science, Comedy
This is another Carpenter flick that developed a cult following, but did poorly upon its release. The fact that the film was critiquing Reaganomics in a time when Reaganomics was still popular might have had a lot to do with that. But there's more to the film than its economic theory, which I personally disagree with (no one would argue, say, that Carpenter, being one of the goons theoretically profiting from such a premise, is doing anything wrong).
But leaving all that aside, I still find this film entertaining. The famous bubble-gum line is hilarious, the fight scene between Nada and Armitage feels so authentically simple, and you're never bored, even until the credits roll.
My favorite moment in the film, though, is the moment Roddy Piper's individualistic drifter character realizes that aliens are running things. It happens early, and his response is to chuckle, like he's always suspected it, and to say, "It figures it would be something like this." This movie moves along pretty quickly, and it's such good fun.
3. The Prince of Darkness (1987)
Subgenres: Religious, Sci-fi, Zombie
Availability: vidbux
This is another one of Carpenter’s under-rated ventures into horror. After Starman, which was a legitimate but unsuccessful effort to gain prominence as a maker of science fiction with mass market appeal (such as the very similar ET), he apparently wanted to return to good old fashioned B-movie fun. And I’m grateful for it.
This movie is one of the best marriages I’ve ever seen of a legitimate, religious horror film about the Apocalypse, and high-level science fiction. The scientists in the film do their sciency thing long enough to convince us that demons are real and that we all missed the point of religion. Evil is not an intangible inner struggle, it is a physical substance that exists in the space between the things science has discovered. Oh, and Jesus was an extraterrestrial sent to warn us about it.
Once again, though, Carpenter takes what sounds like a hokey premise on paper, and translates it to something truly scary and bizarre. There is lots of foreboding music, horrifying set pieces, zombies that turn into bugs, and Alice Cooper. I won’t say that everything in this film makes sense, but it’s the sort of film that you can’t look away from. The last film that had a soundtrack this filled with the essence of cosmic dread was Contagion, so if you’ve seen that film, you know what this one’s like. It’s not Carpenter’s most accessible film, but true horror fans should definitely check it out.
2. Halloween (1978)
Genres: Horror, Thriller, Slasher
Availability: Youtube, Putlocker (better quality)
The mother of all slasher films will always be Psycho, but the film that set the standard for all the tropes used in modern slasher films was without question Halloween. It came before Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and all the rest. And you may be disappointed in me, but I hadn’t seen this film at all until I wrote this blog. That’s a whole, miserable childhood without Mike Myers to spook me into believing in the Boogeyman.
Having seen all of Carpenter's horror films, you could almost say that Michael Myers' psychosis is just another manifestation of the cosmic horror that exists all around us. He takes great pains to set up the plausibility of the scenario, just like good science fiction does, and then it is all downhill.
For a film that made the rules that are still followed in this genre, there is surprisingly little violence or gore. But all the conventions are there: sexually promiscuous teens, the detective hot on the trail (but ultimately useless), the virtuous and virginal Final Girl, the vegetable knife, and of course the mask. There’s always a mask. I really enjoyed this movie, and I think it still holds up today.
1. The Thing (1982)
Genres: Sci-fi, Apocalypse, Alien
Availability: Putlocker (free, but you have to close some popups)
Ok, here’s a confession: I really used this blog as an excuse to talk about this movie. This has always been in my top 5 favorite horror movies of all time, and it still is. Not only did this terrify me as a child, but it still holds up. I get chills every time I watch it.
A lot of people don’t think of this film as being part of the Apocalypse genre, but Carpenter has said himself that he thinks of it as being the first in his “Apocalypse” trilogy (the other two being Prince of Darkness and In the Mouth of Madness). This is why Carpenter was so ahead of his time. Nowadays, when we think Apocalypse, we think asteroids, superviruses and zombies. But Carpenter did with this film what he does best: strip a story to it’s barest essentials. It’s a bunch of dudes trapped on an Antarctic station with a shapeshifting alien that could end all life on Earth if it makes it off the continent. That’s pretty damn Apocalyptic.
My favorite thing about the film is the monster FX. The least interesting (and, thankfully, least utilized) technique used in the film is stop motion. All the really cool stuff, however, was done with pretty much every practical mould and model you could make. For a fan of old-school, in-camera special effects, the ones used in this film are just delightful, and still hold up today. You would never see a film this creatively executed in today’s CGI-dominated industry. I could go on and on about this film, but I won’t. If you see no other horror film on this list, see this one.
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| Dog-Thing says Happy Halloween! |
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